I really had intended to write something every week. And then I got news at work that I may not have a job for much longer. The organisation I work for is going through a restructuring process. (Is that code for “you’re fired”?)
I admit that I over-reacted at first. I was pretty angry and felt really betrayed. I’ve worked so hard at what I do, way above what’s required in my contract. I regularly put in 10-12 hour days in order to do the best job possible and bless the organisation. I believe in what they do! Helping homeless and vulnerable people is essential and definitely God-ordained.
Now, eight and a half years down the road, I could be out of work, forced into a more stressful job post, or find myself demoted with a salary cut. Not really choices I wanted to have to make. I’ve had my mind set, for quite some time, on being ‘rescued’ from my job. I used to stay at home with my children, and would really love to be set free to participate in things I love and feel called to – like caring relationships, helping my life-partner, homemaking, and being available to my children. I’ve been saying for eight years that I didn’t move to Scotland to do what I’m currently doing; I came to be a missionary.
I’m realising now that my attitude isn’t what it should be. Who am I to tell God how to do things? He can deal with me as He chooses, not as I think He should. I need to be content in EVERY circumstance, and do everything I do as serving the Lord.
Whatever I do, I do my best. I know that Jesus is who I really work for, whether at home or elsewhere. He is who I answer to. I want my life to be lived as an act of worship to God, and a sulky attitude has no place in that.
So, I asked my current boss to consider me for the more demanding position that is being created, and I am also job-hunting. But I’m dreaming, too. What if I could replace my income doing something else? Something different? Something that utilises my talents and interests and not just my learned abilities. That would be amazing!